Every step our students take toward increased responsibility and self-control is a step we all take toward freeing our collective energy to focus on the academic work of school.
I have been reflecting on several conversations I've had this past week about student behavior. Almost all of our kids can be described as, "sweet" in one-on-one situations while our classes are sometimes described as, "chatty" or even "disrespectful." The great challenge we have ahead of us is trying to teach personal responsibility in individual students while simultaneously teaching respect for rules and authority in groups of students. It stands to reason that if all students are truly in control of themselves then groups of these responsible students will also have control, but we don’t always get that result. What I’m seeing is that most students understand the concepts of the 7 Habits and are beginning to practice them in individual situations. However, practicing them in group situations when peer pressure and social dynamics come into play is proving to be much more challenging. Share your thoughts and your successes if you have experienced this paradox. How are you dealing with it? How do you handle teaching the 7 Habits to individual students versus groups of students?
38 comments:
That is exactly what I am experiencing in my class! I'm trying to go very slowly with each habit and not move on to the next one until I see consistant practice of the previous habit. This week we are going to do more role playing and 'reader theater' with Proactive and see if that helps with the students being proactive in group settings. I feel like I am constantly saying, "who are you in charge of?", but I know I might have to say it a million times before it sinks in!
Statement from Scott's post: What I’m seeing is that most students understand the concepts of the 7 Habits and are beginning to practice them in individual situations. However, practicing them in group situations when peer pressure and social dynamics come into play is proving to be much more challenging.
That is a huge hurdle to overcome!! We struggle with this even as adults. I know that I know what's "right" and yet when I'm in the heat of being busy or when I'm in an uncomfortable situation I sometimes abandon what I know will produce the best results. I'm going to stop right now and make out my weekly compass in order to focus on what's truly important this week. Thank you, Theodore Roosevelt. :c)
Since I see all the students on our campus, I know exactly what you are talking about. It seems that individually, all of our students are great, but put them together and it's a big disaster! I have tried singling out students in the classes and telling them to be a "leader". If you tell them not to follow the crowd but rather lead by example, it seems to make them feel important. In my morning recorder club, the students are becoming more self confident since they are getting ahead of what we do in class. Then, when they are in music, they no longer want to talk, they want to play to show off their new ability!! Now, instead of looking around the room, they are playing and other students are watching them!
Kim Smith
I am not consistent in helping students learn to be responsible for themselves. Already this morning, I told a child that she was not doing what she was supposed to instead of asking a question in order to get her to figure it out for herself. (Did that make sense?) Anyway, I think I'm still too much in that authoritarian role. It is definitely easier to have self-discipline (if that's what it really is) when by yourself than when with a group without direct supervision, but that's where we need to get with our students.
We have been discussing responsibility since the first day of school. That, to me encompasses everything. If you are taking responsibility for your actions, in theory, you are following all of the rules and behaving appropriately. Obviously all of my students are not at this level yet, but it is a great goal to work on as a class; being completely responsible for our actions. I have definitely run into this problem; students being completely different one-on-one. I think some group modeling and acting in class could really help with this and be very fun to watch. =)
Trevor
You have hit the nail on the head. The kiddos (not unlike adults) know the right thing to do, but don’t always do it. Instead of saying “I like the way Dylan is walking in the hall” I am saying “Dylan is being a leader or is in charge of himself.” Or if I can’t find someone to compliment I say “I am looking for a leader.” Those reminders help some. I’m thinking about having check-in times, like we have in Daily 5. If they think they are acting like a leader, they put their thumb up in front of their chest. If they think they could do better, they put their thumb to the side (not down). I’m starting this today.
I agree this is a problem we are all having at DES. I know that as I walk down the hallways, I am reminding classes to take account for their own actions. It is easy to say they can handle charge of themselves, but when it comes to peer pressure, even as adults, we seem to be followers and not want to feel left out. As the year goes by, with the reinforcement of all teachers and staff, peer pressure will hopefully not be as much of an issue.
I agree that our students tend to be disrespectful and not follow the rules when they are in large groups. As a 5th grade teacher, I am always telling my students that they are the role models for the younger grades and should set an example. I’m usually giving this “little lecture” when I’m disappointed with something that has just happened, usually in the hall or in the cafeteria. Our students want to be good leaders, they just get off track sometimes, and need to be redirected. Habit 2, Begin With the End In Mind, talks about planning ahead and setting goals. This is the perfect opportunity for me to have my students work together and think of a solution that will bring change to their behavior.
Last week teary eyed child entered my office devastated when two girls in her class told her that they did not want to be her frined any more. The movie "Mean Girls" immediatley came to mind and it made me sad that this "bullying" type behavior begins when they are so young and innocent. So this child and I discussed ways that she could beign to resolve the issue. I stated that she could take the intitiative and do the right thing. Then this sad faced little girl looked me in the eye and said, "You mean I need to be proactive." I laughed at her perfectly beautiful response. Yes, the kids are getting the message, and I believe it will carry over into the larger groups too. :)
Paula Keller
My class IS small but also has special challenges with interactions as we all know! ;)
Our transitional curriculum requires that we teach social skills daily!!! The LIM fits soooo perfectly with this! We alternate between the student LIM workbooks and Second Step. The boys in my class love this time of day. They desire to have better skills and fit in with their peers. When we are in the "safety" of our classroom we seem to really get it! But when faced with the challenge of interacting with our peers in outclass settings we fall apart!!!
Why? Because the external input we receive is too much. Others influence is overwhelming!
As we gain more control and have rewarding experiences we will learn and form better habits!
"Oh Gosh! Did I just say habits!!!" Guess that is why we are doing this, Afterall!!!!
Forming students with better habits....
Practice makes perfect (or at least makes better)!!!
We practice being Proactive as a class and as individuals. Sometimes we take rewards and consequences as a class. This way they know that we have to work together sometimes. We also have individual practice and rewards. In my experience it is more effective to point out the person or person's being Proactive, rather than say, "you are not being proactive".
Take this wisdom and flourish fellow workers :)
Jennifer Simpler
I find myself being a lot like Darla (still in that authoritarian role) and I hear myself giving the same "little lecture" that Karen gives the 5th graders on being role models. Hopefully, as I get more into the lessons the idea will rub off on me as well. I know we will get there as a class. It might take us awhile, but since we are beginning with the end in mind, I'm hoping to get there sooner rather than later.
The peer pressure thing has at times been one of the hardest things for me in my own life. I am appalled at some of the things I said or did when I was our students' age (all due to peer pressure and wanting to fit in), and I hope I can save them from having some of the same regrets when they get older.
Michelle
Ironically, I was faced with this dilema today while teaching my students their daily dose of social skills and LIM lessons. The problem I struggle with is getting the kids to internalize these skills, so that they're not doing it just because I want them to or tell them to, but because they inherently want to make better decisions for themselves. I can tell them "no talking in the lunch line" but then I walk away and they start talking. That means I haven't done my job. Our classroom is so focused on extrinsic rewards (due to Boys Town) that it's hard to cultivate the intrinsic motivation to do better. This is something I struggle with daily as a transitional teacher. Clearly I haven't found the solution! My hope is that as we focus on these 7 habbits that we can ignite that interest in making better choices, to be better people!
My only comment is to add that sometimes what seems abundantly clear to us might not be so clear to students. We need to ensure our students understand our expectations.
I wanted my students to be able to go to the back door and knock in order to be let back in. I learned I needed to show students what an appropriate knock would sound like - a knock that the wouldn't disrupt a class, yet be loud enough to be heard!
Ruth, I love what you said about checking in!! I think that is a great idea for the primary kids!
As for what Theodore Roosevelt said about Self Discipline.... That's pretty big! What I've come to realize with age,(I'm so old) is that no one can make another person have self-discipline. That comes from within. I guess that's why it's called the Leader IN me and not OUT of me. Ha. I just think that we have to really convince these kids that they really are the only ones in charge of their lives, like Lisa said. We can't make them be respectful.... they have to choose to be respectful. But what we are doing is giving them all the tools they need to make that choice. : )
Allie
Just an additional thought... I like that the blog is up and going! It keeps me focused and the Seven Habits at the forefront, like many of us have said- It is easy to get caught up in the day to day stress and pace, this brings me back to what is important!
Lisa
I am so thrilled to see this many responses in one day! Don't forget to go back after you have commented to see what others may have written about your comment. I think this particular post has struck a cord with all of us. It feels good to know that others share your success and your pain.
Peer pressure got the better of two of my students today out at recess. They ended up playing a game that they had been forbidden to play because it gets them into trouble. When talking to them about it, one of the boys told me he knew what he could have done differently but it was too hard with all the other kids encouraging him to come play.
The only habit my class has really focused on so far this year is being proactive. He was able to tell me that he had not made the correct choice and together we came up with a plan he could use, but I don't think he is strong enough yet to make the correct choice at recess if he is asked to play the same game again. Peer pressure at any age is so powerful, especially if it is a group of people we really want to hang out with and like us. jody
Texas has been preoccupied with scores and test performance for the 30+ years I have lived her. I am so excited to see the 7 Habits and Leader in Me philosophy. It's re-instilling values that somehow got lost in children's upbringing.
I was encouraged by the idea of teaching "life skills" that will help the next generation cope and flourish in the face of future challenges we can only imagine!!
Babs L.
Just like everyone else, I agree. I have a great group of kids, however, peer presure, events throughout the day, and so many other experiences tempt the kids to "make bad choices". I like to think that I am pretty good about catching poor behavior as it happens and talking to the student/s about what actions or behavior would have been better. I have also had several chats with my whole class about was to be a leader, show respect, use your best judgement, and how to avoid things that may lead you to make bad choices. After these chats, I can really see a difference in my class as a whole for a couple of days. However, it starts to wear off rather quickly, so I like that we have the 7 Habits to refer to and the activity book. Those 2 things combined are a great reminder to me and the kids about how to make some changes in school, and in the classroom, and have a better, more productive, and leader-filled day!
Kirby Plata
I too am definitely seeing this in my classroom. One-on-one students are great and follow the directions given. When placed in a group enviornment they are easily influences by other's actions. Since we have been practing being good leaders and being proactive, I am slowely starting to see a change. When I tell a students they are being proactive or a great leader their face lights up. They are being to take ownership.
-rachel
I agree with Paula. I was working with a group of 3rd graders the other day. When I came back to the room after picking up another student, I said "are we ready?", and this particular 3rd grader sat up and said, "I'm being proactive!". I was impressed that he used to vocabulary so easily, and understood the purpose. It will get to all of them, with consistency and follow-through. It is a matter sometimes of unlearning what is already "learned behavior", and taking responsibility for ones actions. Anyway, I was impressed with my 3rd grader, way to go teachers!
Beth Dibble
I too see this dilemma on the transferring the concept from group to individual or individual to a group setting. In our room we are still working on Habit 1. We talk daily about being proactive and making "good choices". I have been using Social Skills and Social Stories to help address the first habit. We listen to the social story that has been written by reading it or listening to it and singing alone, some of the stories are put to music.
We have been reinforcing those who display the appropriate skill and restating that concept. I finally did see this starting to work when the other day the line leader didn't follow the directions that were given on when to stop and of course the rest followed suit, we discussed this in the room on what should have been done. The next day, the line leader for the day choose not to stop when told, yet the rest of the class did and called the attention to the fact they listened and made the right choice. So I feel it’s working, but maybe at a slower rate than what we are expecting it to. It is hard to change old habits into new habits.
I will agree with what Jennifer said. We also have individual rewards, small group rewards, and whole class rewards. Through this though I did realize that I need to slow down and explain to the class why. We talked about the fact that we need to work on oursevles as well as work on the group. We have had several discussions in the last week and I have seen a big improvement in our hall and classroom behavior. Now I just find myself asking the class "Are we acting proactive as a class?" and I they realize that their behavior does make a difference to the whole group, that they really do matter.
Juli Stanford
I agree with everyone. The students know what they're supposed to do but don't actually incorporate that behavior into their daily activities or goings on. I have made copies of the proactive mission statement in a cursive font, and I plan to use it as cursive handwriting practice for the students. They will copy it in cursive until they learn the mission and HOPEFULLY it will begin to sink in!!! :)
Rocha
I tell my students that the only person you have complete control over is yourself. You can't change anyone else.
Jerrye
Getting ANYTHING accomplished as a group is difficult for kindergartners. We have used "proactive" constantly in our classroom. Kids are starting to tell others to be proactive. It is sinking in. It will take time but I know that we can "get it".
I had an opportunity to speak one on one with a student this week that was out of control. Thanks to Carrie McCurdy, we convinced her that she was the only one that could change her behavior. It took an hour of not giving up on her and she finally understood that she has to make better choices.
I find that sometimes it is hard to reach all of the kids when working in a large group. So, I know that it is hard for them to grasp all of the concepts associated with the 7 habits. It will take time and practice. We are off to a great start!!!
Flippin
Working with the whole school gives me chance to to see how well things are moving along.
Petersen
Today, I was at the Sheltered Instruction workshop. The speaker was talking about people of poverty. They are motivated by immediate gratification, peer and family acceptance, entertainment, and survival, among other things. Future rewards are usually out of reach in their minds. It struck me that as we talk to our students about learning the 7 Habits we need to help them to realize that they can change their destiny. They do not have to be stuck in the cycle of poverty. When we tell them these habits will help them to be more successful in the future we need to be able to give them concrete examples of what that means. I’m not sure how I am going to do this with 1st graders yet, but it’s something to think about.
Ruth
Excellent thought Ruth. This is a connection that we need to consider. It was always a given for me that I would move on from my childhood surroundings and make something of my life. Many of our students do not look at their future through that paradigm. I'm reminded of one of Roxanne's belief statements that, "No one has the right to choose how you live your life ….. Only you can make that decision." I agree. Sounds a lot like "All students succeed in a future they create." We can't dictate what our students will do with their lives, but we can show expose them to many opportunities they might never be aware of if not for the influence of a teacher.
On a personal note: All summer long I was going back and fourth on what school to send my children too, but after really thinking it over I chose D.E.S because I knew our school had something in my opinion no other school could offer. For one, I think the kids feel a sense of accomplishment here with Real School Garden and enjoy the responsbility of caring for the garden. They have Pride for our school because they are helping make it what it is becoming. Our school is all learning the "same language" with the 7 habits.
I feel warmth in the shool and enjoy hearing and seeing how the teachers teach the 7 habits to the children with so much passion.I think one thing children want more than anything is trust from adults and by us allowing them to make the right proactive choice and then in return praising them for it they are begining to feed on our praise and it makes them want to do better. We are doing so much this year with the after school programs ,Garden, and 7 habits, these children are getting positive time invested in them they may not otherwise get.I feel a change in the students and I think we have bright years ahead!
Amanda Callahan
The dynamics, gender specifically, of a classroom can really make a difference with how a student does or doesn't demonstrate self-discipline. My morning class is evenly divided between girls and boys. It is a respectful group of kids for the most part. There are occassional out of place situations, but nothing out of the norm for a four year old who is adjusting to school.
My afternoon group is arranged with 15 boys and 3 girls. Due to the repetitive rough side that boys often demonstrate, I have had to alter my lesson plans with this group and not allow as much freedom in the classroom. Hopefully with enough rehearsing and roll playing, they too will gain the freedoms that the other class already has.
Group dynamics really do play a major roll in the development of self-discipline.
Karen Tassone
Every morning the mission statement is read makes me think of my own belief...you are the only one who can determine what YOU will do with your life.
I think the first immediate way to show the students what they can be is by having former students come talk to the kids or have their posters hanging on the walls with their accomplishments. For some kids when they look at that poster they will make the connection between DES and making it to high school or college(playing football, basketball, or show choir). Our students do not realize that life goes on outside of Haltom City.
By the way I can not stand this Google account mess.....no matter how many times I sign up it doesn't work the next time!!!!
Roxanne
I am so impressed with how quickly the faculty and students have embraced The 7 HABITS. Most importantly, how students are making connections on their own. In a 2nd grade reading group last week, a student commented that two characters had solved a problem in the book and claimed that the characters were thinking Win/Win. I was so pleased that this student not only comprehended the main idea of the story but also related to one of the 7 Habits.
Lori Ward
When you weave the 7 habits into the curriculum it helps them become more meaningful to the students. Last week we read, The Biggest Pumpkin Ever, by Steven Kroll. Right away when we were discussing the story the students connected that the characters were synergizing! We talk daily in our class that we our a team and need to synergize to move onto 2nd grade. Chapter 4- I agree that is vital to let our students know how much we love them and believe in them each day!
I feel chapter 2 goes right along our continuous improvement with who all are the stakeholders in each student's learning. What parents and businesses want in the future of education is where we all need to have a part to focus on the common goal of helping our students be leaders. HOpefully if this can happen then we can ultimately help students with what they want: fun learning, time with friends, and a peace of mind.
Jill Fielder
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